I've been feeling very down lately, so I invited Saki to come with me to a carnival. She was happy to come. The carni was pleasant and very traditional, and it was during the night so I really enjoyed it. We went to lots of fun houses, and went to some roller coasters. It's true, what they say, that you forget problems when riding the roller coaster. It was scary... specially since I'm so used to being in command when I'm in air. I also ate plenty of junk food. Saki ate some for my sake. I appreciate that since she's Saturnian and all. It must've taken a lot of guts for her... It cheered me up, all right.
I hate to say it, but I much prefer going to the carni with Gaji. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy Saki's company, it's just that... I miss Gaji a whole lot. The last time I talked to him was...when we had that arguement. Yeah... It's my fault, I'm the idiot. If I hadn't been listening to music, or if he hadn't been so caught up with me and Saki being friends, or if I actually gave a damn to what he was saying... Then I think I would still be talking to him again.
Come to think of it, his last words were of apology. I wonder how we'll be in uni? Will he talk to me? Will he ignore me? I hope he doesn't ignore me. He can curse me all he wants, but if he ignores me I wouldn't know what to do...
It's true that I don't know much about Gaji... But that doesn't mean we're not real friends. I enjoy his company, he enjoys mine. That's all there is to it, right? So what if he befriended me cause I'm also ugly? That's the truth, isn't it? And it makes him feel better that someone's uglier than him, and it all feels right. And that's all there is to it and nothing more.
I don't see what's so wrong about that, so why was I making it such a big deal before?
...I really needed to grow up.
I really miss him. Being with Saki at the carnival just feels different. It makes me happy, but it's different. It's not what I'm looking for. It cheers me up for awhile, but in the end it just doesn't work.
I just walked
I have nothing to do today so I decided to walk around. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't make any eye contact. I was simply strolling by. The park was pretty much empty, so I played in the swing for a bit. I also ate Mango ice cream, and some cheez curls. I drank a bit of chocolate shake... I had no idea they tasted so yummy.
I just walked
and walked
and walked
and wondered about many things.
...But I'm still depressed and I don't know why.
I just walked
and walked
and walked
and wondered about many things.
...But I'm still depressed and I don't know why.
Murky
I'm so depressed...
On the bright side, Ella's coming home after two days. I'll finally be able to live stress-free for a little while before April. I'm quite elated just thinking of it.
:)
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm stupid and depressed. Sighhhh
On the bright side, Ella's coming home after two days. I'll finally be able to live stress-free for a little while before April. I'm quite elated just thinking of it.
:)
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm stupid and depressed. Sighhhh
My second mission
I've been busy with stuff so I haven't had time to do these missions I promised to do. Well, I have a life too...
Oh. That reminds me. I was watching the Martian Channel in the HV and watched an opera... Guess who I saw there? LEI. He played a lyre... Where'd he get it? I don't remember him having that when he stopped by... Well he was good. It was nice.. And then he began saying weird stuff about the lyre. Like, we can never play it for money and things.
On to my second mission. My second mission is to talk to the people I talked to before... But this time, I need to look them in the eye. It gives me a sort of connection with them, I guess. Hmmm... Okay. So here are the results.
The female ghost. I saw her on the way to school again, and took the chance to talk to her again. We sometimes go together when we see each other, anyway. I asked how she was doing with her lessons, and she said she was doing horrible. My eyes were on hers the whole time, and it seemed natural for the both of us. I guess she's used to looking people straight in the eyes. I think she did that the first time we met.
The male demon. Ever since I asked to eat with him during our break, he's suddenly attached. It's sort of annoying, but I do appreciate his company. We never looked at each other directly before, so when he was talking about himself again, and I looked him in the eye, I think he felt bashful about being so conceited (Finally). He tried to finish what he was saying, but snapped at me. He asked why I was looking at him that way, and accused me of faggotry. Gosh. Just when I thought he couldn't get any more conceited. I mean, I sooo won't go for him if I were gay.
The witch. She's cute, but she's really withdrawn. It's hard to make her face me when I'm talking. I mean, I'm the only one talking... She's just occasionally nodding and agreeing. She did look at one time and we both looked away.... AWKWARD.
The warlock. This guy, cutter and I were just hanging out in the hallway before flying lessons. He was talking and things, and I occasionally had side comments, and then he realized that I was looking at him straight in the eyes. He stopped talking and looked confused/annoyed. He asked what I wanted from him, and I said nothing and looked away. It was scary...
Even Cutter was questioning why I was looking at the warlock guy straight in the eyes. I told him the truth... I wanted to connect. He laughed. ): |
The male cyclops. I happened to accidentally cross his way and I waved to him and we made eye contact. It wasn't hard. Easy peasy. He's a nice guy... I just wondered about him... Could he really be a cyclops?
Oh. That reminds me. I was watching the Martian Channel in the HV and watched an opera... Guess who I saw there? LEI. He played a lyre... Where'd he get it? I don't remember him having that when he stopped by... Well he was good. It was nice.. And then he began saying weird stuff about the lyre. Like, we can never play it for money and things.
On to my second mission. My second mission is to talk to the people I talked to before... But this time, I need to look them in the eye. It gives me a sort of connection with them, I guess. Hmmm... Okay. So here are the results.
The female ghost. I saw her on the way to school again, and took the chance to talk to her again. We sometimes go together when we see each other, anyway. I asked how she was doing with her lessons, and she said she was doing horrible. My eyes were on hers the whole time, and it seemed natural for the both of us. I guess she's used to looking people straight in the eyes. I think she did that the first time we met.
The male demon. Ever since I asked to eat with him during our break, he's suddenly attached. It's sort of annoying, but I do appreciate his company. We never looked at each other directly before, so when he was talking about himself again, and I looked him in the eye, I think he felt bashful about being so conceited (Finally). He tried to finish what he was saying, but snapped at me. He asked why I was looking at him that way, and accused me of faggotry. Gosh. Just when I thought he couldn't get any more conceited. I mean, I sooo won't go for him if I were gay.
The witch. She's cute, but she's really withdrawn. It's hard to make her face me when I'm talking. I mean, I'm the only one talking... She's just occasionally nodding and agreeing. She did look at one time and we both looked away.... AWKWARD.
The warlock. This guy, cutter and I were just hanging out in the hallway before flying lessons. He was talking and things, and I occasionally had side comments, and then he realized that I was looking at him straight in the eyes. He stopped talking and looked confused/annoyed. He asked what I wanted from him, and I said nothing and looked away. It was scary...
Even Cutter was questioning why I was looking at the warlock guy straight in the eyes. I told him the truth... I wanted to connect. He laughed. ): |
The male cyclops. I happened to accidentally cross his way and I waved to him and we made eye contact. It wasn't hard. Easy peasy. He's a nice guy... I just wondered about him... Could he really be a cyclops?