It's different...

I've been feeling very down lately, so I invited Saki to come with me to a carnival. She was happy to come. The carni was pleasant and very traditional, and it was during the night so I really enjoyed it. We went to lots of fun houses, and went to some roller coasters. It's true, what they say, that you forget problems when riding the roller coaster. It was scary... specially since I'm so used to being in command when I'm in air. I also ate plenty of junk food. Saki ate some for my sake. I appreciate that since she's Saturnian and all. It must've taken a lot of guts for her... It cheered me up, all right.

I hate to say it, but I much prefer going to the carni with Gaji. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy Saki's company, it's just that... I miss Gaji a whole lot. The last time I talked to him was...when we had that arguement. Yeah... It's my fault, I'm the idiot. If I hadn't been listening to music, or if he hadn't been so caught up with me and Saki being friends, or if I actually gave a damn to what he was saying... Then I think I would still be talking to him again.
Come to think of it, his last words were of apology. I wonder how we'll be in uni? Will he talk to me? Will he ignore me? I hope he doesn't ignore me. He can curse me all he wants, but if he ignores me I wouldn't know what to do...

It's true that I don't know much about Gaji... But that doesn't mean we're not real friends. I enjoy his company, he enjoys mine. That's all there is to it, right? So what if he befriended me cause I'm also ugly? That's the truth, isn't it? And it makes him feel better that someone's uglier than him, and it all feels right. And that's all there is to it and nothing more.
I don't see what's so wrong about that, so why was I making it such a big deal before?
...I really needed to grow up.

I really miss him. Being with Saki at the carnival just feels different. It makes me happy, but it's different. It's not what I'm looking for. It cheers me up for awhile, but in the end it just doesn't work.